entry 01
well that was horrible...
if anyone saw that no you didnt.
anyways lemme tell you abt my day!!! i woke up after having a wet dream where i was being a pervert towards a girl and starting heh...... but then i woke up to my mom saying see you later cuz she went on a work trip, so after waking up i laid in bed for a bit cuz im dreading eating yk? i keep binging and it makes me want to kill myself AUGHHHH
around 10am (i woke up at 8) i go downstairs and make myself toast and eat an orngae, fucj my head is hurting so bad.... anyways i drink my water, head back upstairs and start playin minecraft
i play for a while, prob like 3 hours before i get hungry again and then i started binging so KMSSSS
thats not even the worst part cuz omg, my gf, SHES PISSING ME OFF
if you dont know im poly and i have two gfs wow but recently theyve been pissing me off but its whatever cuz i know its just my bpd talking since i tend to get easily irrated over the littist things BUT ONE OF THEM ISNT TALKING TO ME!!!! like i know she needs space and whatever but this shit keeps happening every other week and its driving me CRAZYYY!!!!! like srs why do i put myself though this??? like i do love her in my weird way of loving but i just cant do it I JUST CANTTTT then i do something stupid like snapping at her in dms and saying shit i dont really mean and i do (not) feel bad about it but its like
we both knew what we were getting into when i asked her out sighs im to blame and also shes to blame we're both at fault since this could be easily be HWSUIFGAGOIAHIAIUHJUUUUUIIHHHHH sorry i should stop ranting about her
i would rant more but i cant spell LMAOOO
anyways i got my period which is a hooray for Niko nation cuz if you didnt know i have PMDD which can be a BITCHHHHH before any period and that was just happening this week, i liteally tried killing myself and also cried to my mom cuz i thought she was mad, like very mad at me, sighsssssssssssssss
i just cant wait for my period to be over so i can be more clear headed insead of raging all the time and nearly end up in the mental ward
anyways i think thats it, i didnt really do much today besides bitch and moan (which im good at) so thank you for taking your time to read this!!! love ya